In this episode, Ustadha Raidah answers a question from a man whose mother, who lives very far away and suffers emotional problems, cut him off, after she was unable to meet the girl he was considering for marriage. Things didn’t work out with her, but his mother still does not answer his calls or messages, and he is wondering whether he needs to seek her approval before marrying.
Ustadha Raidah explains that below angry reactions are deep feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, and other negative emotions, and the mother’s reactions are likely a result of these. She advises the questioner to give his mother a reasonable amount of time before he pursues marriage, as he still has a strong duty to his mother. Additionally, were he to get married, he would be bringing his wife into a toxic environment. She advises him to fly out to where the mother is living, and seek to resolve the situation as best as he possibly can.

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In this episode, Ustadha Raidah addresses an all-too-common problem; a wife whose husband does not help with the household chores or taking care of the children, leaving her exhausted and hopeless, to the point that she is considering divorce.
Ustadha Raidah points out the importance of both parents being present in their children’s lives. Not only does it teach them what good relationships look like, but also the parents are able to get support from each other through the ups and downs of life.
Since it’s difficult to change her husband’s mindset, she encourages the mother to practice self-care, and consider finding a Muslim life coach, who may be able to help her with communication and coping skills. She emphasizes that taking time out to recharge is important, especially when not getting support from others. Finally, she encourages the mother to pray the Prayer of Guidance, and look for signs of how to proceed in the marriage.

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In this episode, Ustadha Raidah tackles a common problem among Muslim youth; not having a sense of direction in life, and managing parents’ expectations. One of three sisters, the questioner feels like she has lived her life for her parents, and her father is still dissatisfied with everything she does. She is the only one still living in the family home, and the responsibility of caring for her aging parents falls solely on her. This stagnant environment makes her disheartened, socially isolated, and confused.
Ustadha Raidah encourages her to firstly not compare herself with other women who lead different lives, and not to allow herself to fall into negative thought patterns. She also explains the reasons behind poor relationship choices predominant among young Muslims, who did not have a deep connection with their parents and suggests solutions for the young woman and her way forward.

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In this episode,  Ustadha Raidah tackles another complex family problem, as she is asked whether a person should choose between their parents or keeping ties with their brother.
The questioner is a young woman whose brother fell in love with a woman four years ago, who is extremely disrespectful to his family. They are determined to get married, but the parents are very hurt by what has happened, will not come to the wedding, and want their daughter to have no contact with him. The woman also has two children from a previous relationship.
Ustadha Raidah encourages us to look deeper into this situation and prioritize the short-term for the long-term. Cutting off family ties is not just wrong, but it can cut off any opportunity for reconciliation or forgiveness. In addition, when innocent children are involved, they can be easily affected by the adults’ actions, which adds more responsibility to all parties.
A person can see a situation in two ways; with a problem mindset, which focuses on the problem, or a growth mindset, which asks what can be done to benefit from the situation.

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In this episode, Ustadha Raidah covers a very sensitive and frighteningly common topic: verbal abuse by authority figures. A person is asking for her advice after an elder sibling frequently verbally abuses them, under the pretense that it is allowed because Islam requires a person to respect their elders.
Ustadha Raidah clarifies that Islam does not allow anybody, no matter who they are, to act abusively towards anybody. She encourages the questioner to seek out a counselor or therapist, and work towards setting boundaries. Exploring the dynamics of a toxic relationship, she explains that most abuse is learned behavior that usually stems from a difficult family environment, and clarifies the difference between unconditional love and unconditionally accepting bad behavior. She finishes b speaking about compassion through an Islamic lens.

Check out all of the SeekersGuidance podcasts by visiting https://seekersguidance.org/podcasts/

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